What to do when food feels like the enemy

Oh, I’ve been there. You sit down at a restaurant, glance at the menu, and… cue the internal panic. You’re thinking, What can I eat that won’t give me hives, a migraine, or send me sprinting to the bathroom? But honestly? You have no clue. So you play it safe—grilled chicken, plain rice, and some sad, steamed veggies. Or maybe you just say screw it and order whatever looks good because, let’s face it, everything seems to be a gamble lately. Either way, you end up stressed out, bracing for your body to freak out. Ugh.

I get it. I really do—because that used to be me. And it’s also a story I hear from so many women.

The truth is, food intolerances can show up at any point in life. Stress, hormones, gut issues, medications, or even just aging (yay?) can all play a part. Sometimes doctors label it Irritable Bowel Syndrome. You might’ve had allergy tests that came back normal. You’ve maybe tried every diet under the sun—some worked a little, some didn’t do a thing. It’s confusing, frustrating, and exhausting.

But here’s the deal: healing starts with a whole lot of self-compassion and patience. Your body didn’t get here overnight, and it’s going to take a little detective work and TLC to get it back on track.

Here are a few questions to help you get started:

1. What was happening when I had a reaction?
Start a food journal—but not just what you ate. Note how you ate it, and how you felt before and after. Were you stressed? Did you chew your food properly (seriously, it matters)? This info can help you connect the dots and play digestive detective.

2. Am I overloading my gut with disruptors?
Think: sugar, alcohol, processed junk. These can mess with your gut bacteria and inflame your system. Alcohol especially can damage the gut lining, making food reactions more likely.

3. Am I being too restrictive?
It’s tempting to stick with your five “safe” foods, but a super limited diet can actually make things worse. Your gut needs variety to stay healthy. Too much restriction = less microbial diversity = more reactivity. (Yep, it’s a cruel twist.)

4. Am I eating foods that help my gut heal?
Support your belly with gut-loving goodies like bone broth (hello, l-glutamine), salmon, leafy greens, berries, walnuts, and ginger. Generally, well-cooked, whole foods are easier to tolerate if your gut’s in rough shape. Adding gut-rebuilding and healing compounds is just as important—if not more—than simply avoiding triggers. 

5. What else is going on in my life?
Menopause? Post-pregnancy? Big stressors like a breakup, a move, a recent illness? Dealing with other stuff like skin issues, joint pain, or headaches? These are all important clues that could be tied to your food symptoms.

Bottom line? You’re not alone—and you’re not crazy. Your body’s trying to tell you something. And with a little curiosity, gentle support, and lots of grace, you can start to feel better.